Regulators 3
Bonus · published 2026-05-10 · archive #396

[0:00:00] Unidentified: Prime presents Perfect Pairings. What pairs with Reacher on Prime? Reaching for a sparkling punch delivered with Prime. You can enjoy a punch just like Reacher. Entertainment meets fast delivery. It's on Prime. At Ikea, we make things just for college life. Come on, come on! Like our Kallax desk in white, black or stained oak for just $75. Yeah, let's go! It's got built-in cable management to help keep your game console cords organized. And a spacious work surface for your laptops, monitors, and textbooks. Woo! Yeah! If only you were this excited about studying. Oh, man! Shop back to school at Ikea.
[0:00:45] Andrew: Hello and welcome to another episode of The Regulators. We're going to switch things up a little bit from how we've previously done this. You guys are ready to regulate? Yes. Yes. Great. That's when I pause after I ask the question.
[0:00:57] Eric: Typically, that's when you guys then speak. No, yeah. I just, I want to take a backseat and not be the first one to say, yeah, see how long it took the other two dipshits to do it. It was a while.
[0:01:06] Geoff: It sounds to me like, Gavin, you and I were the only one that took initiative and Eric had his tongue tied. Yeah. Wild, the silent one said the dipshit thing.
[0:01:15] Eric: Yeah. Yeah. It's really, really interesting how that works. It's tough, right, Andrew? Andrew, Andrew, it's tough when you're ready to go, when you're raring, you're looking for some good content, and then it's just, you're met with just abject silence.
[0:01:28] Gavin: The silence just doesn't last long with Eric. It's tough.
[0:01:31] Eric: Yeah, because I want to get into it, boys, because I'm excited to regulate today. Andrew, what do we got?
[0:01:36] Andrew: What we got is typically we've gone in with pre-prepared topics of this, but this time I made a post on our Patreon where people can submit things that we can regulate on. So we're going to go through those really quickly. We're going to build a wheel, and then we'll spin and decide what we're going to regulate the item on. I see Eric is adjusting, getting it ready.
[0:01:59] Eric: Now we're prepared because we have the wheel ready to go.
[0:02:01] Andrew: So I'm going to go through, I'm going to throw out some of these suggestions by people, and you guys can say like, yeah, you want that on the board? You don't want that on the board. Okay. First one I see by Brian Funk. I like a lot. Regulation, movie theater snacks on the board. Ooh, I like that. I feel like you can easily break down. I think there's definitely a right and wrong way to go with movie theater snacks.
[0:02:23] Eric: Now, is it a single snack or is it like an accoutrement?
[0:02:29] Andrew: Oh, that's interesting. I think it has to be sort of a meal of sorts, like a combo, like if you were going to.
[0:02:34] Gavin: Yeah, like the ultimate combo.
[0:02:35] Andrew: Yeah. Oh, dude.
[0:02:37] Eric: Dude, you know about the ultimate combo too? All right.
[0:02:40] Andrew: Next one, I see that really peaks my interest that I just like to hear everybody's opinions on. I think this could be a fun one by John Cut Savage. Regulation room temperature.
[0:02:51] Eric: Oh, I like that. But that is, is I really like that one. Oh, I really I don't think we're going to agree on this at all.
[0:03:00] Andrew: No, probably not. Not in the slightest. Let's see what else we got. Regulation milkshake. Regulation perfect day. Regulation breakfast. That's a can of worms.
[0:03:15] Eric: Interesting. Regulation breakfast, I think, might be a good one.
[0:03:18] Andrew: Yeah, I like that one.
[0:03:19] Eric: You want to try that?
[0:03:20] Andrew: Put it in. Okay. Somebody, Metalcore Eli, wrote in with regulation pizza delivery service. I don't know what that means. What the what?
[0:03:28] Eric: I like when a guy brings it to me. Um, to my door and then hands it to me.
[0:03:35] Andrew: The concept that you're ordering based on who has the best delivery service as opposed to who has the best pizza is very funny. Yeah, that's a good one.
[0:03:42] Gavin: Well, if you could choose between like hour and a half delivery or 10 minute delivery, do you think that would factor in whether the pizza is good or not? It depends on if you want the pizza in 10 minutes or in an hour and a half. I think it's a great point, Jeff.
[0:03:53] Andrew: It is a great point.
[0:03:55] Unidentified: Okay.
[0:03:56] Andrew: We got regulation cereal.
[0:04:00] Eric: I think it's interesting. Love it. Yeah, but if but if we're doing breakfast, then do we do we go even deeper? That's fair.
[0:04:07] Andrew: But I don't want to when they say regulation cereal. In my mind, it's us constructing a cereal that doesn't exist. You think that that's what you think that's what the show is? See, we kind of had this talk beforehand of what this show is, because I feel like we've done several of these and different people have different ideas of what this is. I think if we're applying the regulation, it would be like if regulation cereal existed, what would that consist of? Not necessarily what cereal is most aligned with regulation that already exists.
[0:04:37] Gavin: But aren't you the only one that thinks it's like our version of something as opposed to like the bog standard version of something?
[0:04:42] Eric: So what is the room? So what would regulation room temperature be? We have to we have to invent like a different like measuring scale.
[0:04:52] Andrew: Well, I mean, we have the Dinklage scale, but I don't think that's temperature based. What was the other one?
[0:04:57] Geoff: Recently. So what was your weaknesses? Weenuses. Yeah, the weenus scale. I almost said one.
[0:05:03] Andrew: I agree. The temperature thing wouldn't necessarily align in that thing, but I just think it's really funny us arguing what the ideal temp is, because I don't think what would movie theater snacks be? You have to invent a snack. I don't think we're inventing shit. No, I think it would be like what you would get from there and how you would customize it potentially.
[0:05:23] Eric: But then I mean, it just seems like how would cereal be a thing that we have to invent?
[0:05:30] Andrew: Because it could be a thing of the does the regulation cereal have marshmallows. It's going to say mushrooms, marshmallows.
[0:05:37] Gavin: I think cereal is fine because we're not going to get breakfast and cereal. Okay. Cereal is off the list. Let's put the cereal on.
[0:05:45] Geoff: I don't know what the fuck we're doing with it when we land on it.
[0:05:47] Eric: Me neither, but I'm excited to find out, Jeff.
[0:05:49] Geoff: It just seems like the rule is applied in one direction on one's. A hundred percent.
[0:05:55] Andrew: If I made these podcasts with three other Tinas, boy, what an easy process this would be.
[0:05:59] Eric: The Andrew understander? Yeah.
[0:06:01] Geoff: Yeah, yeah. You should have to. You know what? You should be doomed to make it with three other Andrews.
[0:06:05] Eric: Yeah.
[0:06:07] Geoff: That's what I'm saying.
[0:06:09] Andrew: You guys are Andrews to me. That'd be another good one. I don't like once some of these suggestions, I think, are just hilarious. Regulation hairline. What does that mean? What? What?
[0:06:27] Eric: We have to invent a hairline? We have to invent a hairline.
[0:06:32] Andrew: Regulation games per genre. I think that's interesting. Games per genre? A regulation game. Like, what mechanically would be in a regulation game?
[0:06:43] Unidentified: Does it have mini golf? Does it have a double jump? I've never understood this show less than this episode.
[0:06:53] Eric: I felt like I understood it coming in, and I'm so confused, but I kind of love that I don't know what's happening.
[0:06:59] Geoff: I feel like it's so straightforward. I got to be honest. I feel like Gavin and Andrew have been so confusing throughout this, and Eric's the only one I identify with at all in this, and I hate to be there. Sorry, man. I feel like you contradict yourself a couple times already, and I'm so desperately trying to follow the line, because I wasn't in the first one of these. I was in the second one. Right. And we were like, I don't remember what we made, but it was so straightforward, and I don't remember being confusing at all. And this whole, I feel like that's what I'm saying.
[0:07:36] Unidentified: The first one we did was hot dogs, and it was like, what's the most standard hot dog?
[0:07:40] Andrew: I want to throw onto the list King Chadley's regulation TV size. I just want these are sort of just conversations. That one I like.
[0:07:50] Eric: So, Andrew, again, this is where my confusion comes in.
[0:07:53] Andrew: Do we have to invent a TV size? No, I think it just depends on the topic. I think it's clear what you do based on the topic that comes up. I don't think it's clear.
[0:08:01] Eric: It's not clear, because you said invent a cereal.
[0:08:05] Andrew: Yeah. Well, we can come up with a cereal. Because a cereal is like a brand of cereals, just a bunch of components that make it unique to that thing, right? So, like, Lucky Charms has marshmallows in their cloud and rainbow-shaped and whatnot. We don't have to pick Lucky Charms. We could pull, we could say, like, you know what? The regulation cereal is the, is Honey Nut Cheerios with the marshmallows from this other thing. It's essentially what us as a group would define as what we would think is the optimal.
[0:08:36] Geoff: But when I was in it, I just remembered we did, we picked the regulation mascot, and we didn't invent a mascot. We picked an actual existing mascot.
[0:08:48] Andrew: I'm very quickly remembering why we did two episodes of the show, and I did not try to make another one until this week.
[0:08:56] Gavin: Because to you, it's a completely different show than it is to the other four.
[0:08:59] Andrew: To me, all of this makes sense, and to you guys, it doesn't, and I don't understand how it doesn't make sense to you guys.
[0:09:03] Geoff: I just don't understand why we used a real mascot, and we didn't invent a mascot if we're inventing cereal.
[0:09:09] Gavin: But with the hot dog, we just had, like, ketchup and mustard and stuff. We came up with the regulation box down a dog, and it sounds like episode two was the same.
[0:09:17] Andrew: Okay, well, how about this? This is what we're going to do. We're going to fill this board up. Yeah. With stuff. Yep. And then you guys are going to explain to me what we're doing. Because it makes total sense to me, and you guys all seem to be able to get on the same way. Like, I can get on your wavelength. I just need to, I'll take the back seat. Okay, hey, honestly.
[0:09:39] Gavin: The wavelength is your wavelength.
[0:09:40] Eric: But, but I think that's a good idea, because, because if there are certain rules that Andrew feels like it needs to be for, because he's not saying invent a TV size, but he's saying invent a cereal, so we'll know when we fill this board up what the thing is that it lands on, and then we can figure out what exactly we're doing.
[0:09:58] Andrew: I'm going to rent the car, and then I'm going to give you guys the keys, and I'll just hop in that back seat.
[0:10:03] Eric: And then you have to invent the wheels, or what's the, well, the wheel's right here. Oh, perfect. That is the wheel, and it's spinning, baby. All right, Andrew, what else is going on the board? The wheel has a bolt in it.
[0:10:14] Andrew: Go to second wheel. Go to second wheel. Oh, God, please not. Got it. We have to have a second wheel. Regulation font.
[0:10:24] Eric: Oh, okay. Okay, now this is good, because I think that Jeff has very strong opinions on this based on a video I just saw recently.
[0:10:31] Geoff: I don't know what video you're talking about, but God damn it. Fucking portal. Oh, right. Hey, everybody, that's a good video. Everybody should watch that.
[0:10:41] Unidentified: That's a weird one, though, because we already have the answer to that. Right. So it'll be good. Yeah.
[0:10:50] Eric: We'll be able to establish it. Regulation sport. Now, to you, is that a sport that already exists, or one we have to invent? I'm just asking. This isn't an argument starter. I think you could go either way.
[0:11:01] Geoff: I mean, it's baseball, obviously. Throw it on there, and then we, it will be a tough, we only have to worry about it if we land on it.
[0:11:10] Andrew: That is true. How many do we have currently?
[0:11:13] Eric: One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, seven, and go to second wheel is eight.
[0:11:18] Unidentified: Okay.
[0:11:19] Eric: Let's, let's try to get to like, nine.
[0:11:23] Andrew: Regulation pasta. Ooh.
[0:11:28] Unidentified: Okay. We did go over that recently. Okay. Ooh. Maybe one more. Just one more. Okay. Just one more. One more.
[0:11:42] Andrew: Look, and there's, there's a lot of like interesting, like ringtone, I think is a funny one. Ooh. I don't think about ringtones. That's how the one I made Gavin my ringtone for a while. Which, what was it? I don't remember what it was. You went like, what? What's this? Or something like that. Oh.
[0:12:00] Gavin: Oh, I vaguely remember that.
[0:12:03] Andrew: Yeah. Same amount of memory of it that I have.
[0:12:09] Unidentified: Regulation fruit. Let's put that on the board. Another easy one. I have one.
[0:12:14] Geoff: Yeah.
[0:12:15] Unidentified: Oh, what's up? Yeah.
[0:12:16] Geoff: Feel free. Can I throw one in? Please. Absolutely. Regulation bedtime. Oh, I love that.
[0:12:22] Eric: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
[0:12:24] Gavin: As soon as you said you were throwing one in, I was thought of what I could throw in and it was regulation, like sleep hours. It's wild how close they are.
[0:12:30] Eric: Jeff, can I say I was thinking regulation bedtime? I was thinking about bedtime earlier. Like when we were like, when we got to breakfast and then cereal, I went, oh, bedtime would be good on here, but I wanted to, I wanted to keep it to the audience. I love the bedtimes on here.
[0:12:40] Geoff: We're all just mind melded today.
[0:12:42] Eric: Um, we are, we're all on the same wavelength. All of us are on the same wavelength, which makes it great. And guys, we have, I mean, 10, 10 things on the wheel, plus a cool 11 thing that just go to second wheel, but we need to shuffle the wheel. How many times do we shuffle the wheel? 10. 10. It is 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. Okay, boys, now we will spin the wheel. Spin this wheel. We're going to figure out what we are going to regulate first. Gavin, are you ready? Yep. Let's do it.
[0:13:16] Unidentified: And we will be regulating. Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please.
[0:13:30] Eric: And hang on, hang on. It's almost stopped. Making sure it's breakfast. Regulating breakfast. Now, Andrew, what does that mean to you?
[0:13:44] Andrew: I don't, uh, to me, it would be like if you went into a restaurant and you ordered the regulation breakfast, what would be on that plate?
[0:13:51] Eric: Okay, I agree with that. Jeff, Gavin, do you guys feel the same way? Well, here's my question.
[0:13:57] Geoff: So, I might be tempted to say eggs, but eggs already exist. Should I invent a new animal that has a new kind of breakfast meat or sausage? Eric's, I'm trying to read Eric here. I just want to know where we land on.
[0:14:17] Andrew: I think you can try whatever you want to try. I think there are certain things where it makes more sense to, like, customize what's existing in the field. In other words, kind of more straightforward.
[0:14:26] Eric: I thought you were going to be like, do I need to say scrambled? And you went with, do I invent a new animal meat?
[0:14:34] Gavin: It has got to be egg based there, right? It's going to be eggs involved.
[0:14:38] Eric: I agree. So, if we're doing breakfast, I agree. I think eggs need to be involved. I don't think Andrew's going to agree.
[0:14:44] Andrew: What I was going to say is it either needs to be completely egg-less or very egg-centric.
[0:14:52] Eric: I don't think it needs to be egg-centric at all. I just think eggs need to be there. I don't think eggs need to be the star of the show.
[0:14:58] Andrew: So, there should probably be one egg because we're an egg as a whole. I feel like it's a fried egg.
[0:15:06] Geoff: Why doesn't everybody just throw out what they think are regulated? What's the first thing that comes to your mind?
[0:15:10] Eric: It's scrambled eggs. Like, even if we weren't talking eggs, scrambled eggs would be the first thing that I would throw out there.
[0:15:18] Andrew: What's the egg that has a consistency, like kind of a look of a scrambled, but it's not scrambled? It's just an egg? Fried? Is it a fried egg? It's a fried egg. It's a poached egg. Can you describe it just one more time? So, it visually looks like it would have the consistency of what a scrambled egg would be, but it is an intact egg. Eric is Googling. Visually a scrambled egg, but intact. I think it might be a fried egg that I'm thinking of. You let me know if you see any eggs here. No, I'm not seeing any. Try a fried egg. Okay. Let me just look at what a fried egg looks like, because I've never ordered eggs up. Yeah, like a fried. To me, that's when I think of an egg.
[0:16:03] Gavin: I agree. I feel like for this, if you just told me draw breakfast, it would be a fried egg and two pieces of bacon.
[0:16:10] Eric: That's really interesting. And a triangle of toast. Draw breakfast to me, you would draw the sunny side up egg like that, and I don't think that's wrong. So, I'll go with a fried egg. I think a fried egg is fine.
[0:16:22] Gavin: It's not necessarily the egg I would prefer to eat. I just feel like it's the breakfast egg.
[0:16:27] Eric: It is the breakfast egg.
[0:16:28] Geoff: And I feel like you should be able to see a little bit of pepper on top.
[0:16:31] Eric: Okay. Yeah, I like that. Um, now you mentioned toast. Is there, is there a specific toast that you're thinking?
[0:16:40] Geoff: To me, regulation breakfast toast is just white bread toasted and then cut into a triangle. And you have two pieces, two triangles on top of each other.
[0:16:50] Andrew: Do you feel strongly about bread being part of this, Jeff? Some toast? I do. Okay. I just wasn't sure if this was a Gavin Strong point. No, I feel like... Because I feel like toast British thing in my head.
[0:17:04] Geoff: No, I mean, maybe it's a Southern American thing, but you have toast with everything. I mean, everyone's got a toaster.
[0:17:12] Unidentified: Yeah. Well, uh, yeah.
[0:17:15] Eric: I think that... I think two triangles of toast with butter and jam on the side is a, like, a thing. Like, that's a very... In my head, it's, like, regulation breakfast is like a diner breakfast. A very, like, greasy spoon breakfast is where my head goes. I agree with that completely.
[0:17:33] Geoff: I feel like those triangles of toast, it's like, no matter what you order, you're getting them whether you want them or not.
[0:17:37] Eric: Yeah, and you can order something that is also bread-based, but somehow they're giving you pieces of bread on the side, just in case you want more bread.
[0:17:44] Andrew: Yeah. I was gonna say, I never order one of these meals, because egg is always the center of it. Sure. But I get excited when I read through the list of things, and, like, when they throw some toast in there. Because I never order toast, but you throw some toast into the overall package,
[0:17:57] Eric: I'm a fan of that. I can do two triangles of a toasted white bread. Do you feel that same way, Gavin? Yeah, definitely. Okay. Has to be triangles. Yeah, definitely.
[0:18:05] Gavin: Um... And there's definitely stuff that I'm missing from my ultimate breakfast, but it's just not a regulation breakfast.
[0:18:12] Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What about, like, are we doing, like, bacon, sausage? Is there, like, a meat here? Has to be bacon.
[0:18:18] Gavin: I think it's two slices of bacon. I think bacon is less polarizing than sausage.
[0:18:23] Andrew: Yeah. Two slices of bacon, one of them crispy, one of them kind of chewy.
[0:18:28] Gavin: Whoa.
[0:18:28] Andrew: Now, I don't like the way that Gavin... Gavin has, like, raw bacon. From the photos that he shared. But I had some chewy bacon recently that wasn't, like, super crispy, and it was delicious. Arguably better than when it's really crunchy. So I think there's a middle ground between crunchy bacon and the British raw bacon that is pretty delicious.
[0:18:51] Eric: The British raw bacon.
[0:18:53] Andrew: Oh, it's a vile British raw bacon. I mean, just whenever he posts photos of it, it seems raw. Could use a little bit more doneness. But not necessarily too much, but a little bit more. I think we, since that has been a big topic, anytime we talk about bacon, I think we have to serve both. And that allows people to maybe realize that, you know what? They're more chewy bacon people than they would have guessed. Hmm.
[0:19:21] Eric: I'm fine with that. I'm, I'm, I'm, it's not how I would do it, but I'm fine with it. Yeah. I, I think, I think having the texture difference is fine. Sure. With your bacon.
[0:19:29] Gavin: Because I think that's, like, the regulation element. Like, it's almost like there's a little piece of an argument on a plate.
[0:19:34] Geoff: Yeah. And then, if you're having lunch with a friend, and you don't, you can trade. You guys can swap and do, do a little mixy move. You can do bacon trades.
[0:19:39] Andrew: You can do a swap. And also, like, this regulation part. I would never have a fucking egg in this thing. I would get fried egg out of here completely.
[0:19:46] Geoff: That's a totally fair point. Also, maybe try one once in your life. Yeah, maybe. You might, you're going to be like, ah, fucking 30, 30 years I missed out on this.
[0:19:55] Gavin: There's nothing better than also, like, smashing into that egg yolk if it's a sunny side up. And just getting a bit of bread involved in the yolk.
[0:20:02] Geoff: Sounds, that sounds like it's bordered on wet bread to me, Gavin. Yeah, I don't like that. It's all about speed. You dunk it in.
[0:20:10] Eric: It speeds a factor, Jeff. Gavin's like, Gavin's mouth's like an F1 pit crew when it comes to eggs and bread.
[0:20:16] Gavin: If I'm wet in the bread, it's only wet for two or three seconds.
[0:20:20] Eric: Andrew brought this up in an episode recently where me and Jeff talked about having breakfast. And he said, oh, you get those hash browns. And we hadn't gotten the hash browns, but I think hash browns should probably go on this. Oh, absolutely. I mean, I love hash browns.
[0:20:33] Andrew: I would leave this show before we agree to this without hash browns being part of it. I had a feeling that you'd feel pretty strongly about it. I feel very strongly about the hash browns.
[0:20:43] Eric: Yeah.
[0:20:43] Gavin: I mean, I certainly do enjoy one. I just don't feel like it would be in my drawing of a breakfast.
[0:20:49] Eric: That's crazy to me. I love a hash brown. I got nothing against it. I think it would be there, but I need them crispy. I can't do like a regular. Yeah.
[0:20:56] Geoff: And they come out like crispy hash browns. They need to be Waffle House hash browns. Yeah.
[0:21:00] Unidentified: Yeah.
[0:21:01] Andrew: It's not like the weird British raw bacon thing. It is. The only answer is crispy. Yeah. Yeah. I can. I can go with that. I get that. And the thing is, though, and we're assuming that this is a place that does things right. I love a good shredded hash brown, but you can really fuck up a shredded hash brown usually or something like a cubed hash brown is, I think, less good, but has a higher average.
[0:21:25] Geoff: So I'm not going for a higher floor, lower ceiling with my breakfast. I think you got to go with the best hash brown.
[0:21:31] Andrew: Okay. Well, then I would say it's the shredded hash brown. I think it's got to be. Yeah. I think it has to be the shredded hash brown.
[0:21:37] Geoff: I'll say. I'll say you can make a people out of it, potentially. Make what? I'm sorry. What? What was it called, Andrew? It was in our cookbook. Oh, you made a pizza out of popolza. Oh, popolza. Popolza. Yeah. Made a pizza out of hash brown.
[0:21:54] Eric: Sure did. I realized I should have been writing this down, so that way we don't have to come back and remember, because we're going to forget. Two bacon. We said, but it's two pieces of bacon. One crispy. And that's one crispy.
[0:22:10] Geoff: One chewy.
[0:22:12] Eric: What? I like. Oh, my God. Well, one's like. One chewy.
[0:22:16] Gavin: Yeah, that's from different pig bits.
[0:22:18] Eric: Got it. Got it.
[0:22:19] Andrew: They're from different pig bits? Yeah. Different cut pig. Oh, I might not like your bacon at all, then, because I like the crispy pig bit, but just not crispy fully. Interesting. Well, have you had English bacon? Probably not. It's not as good.
[0:22:36] Unidentified: Is it comparable to Canadian bacon? Well, similar. If it is similar, then I don't like it.
[0:22:45] Gavin: I mean, it's pork, but, you know, dragging some of that through.
[0:22:50] Andrew: I figured that much.
[0:22:51] Gavin: Through beans and a bit of brown sauce. Unbelievable.
[0:22:56] Andrew: So we have shredded hash browns.
[0:22:59] Unidentified: But we.
[0:23:00] Andrew: It's not shredded.
[0:23:00] Eric: There are a few points of contention. It's not shredded? I thought we said shredded hash browns. Shredded. Has to be shredded. Has to be shredded. Has to be shredded.
[0:23:07] Unidentified: What did you think, Gavin? It's. When it's like the shape of something, that's not shredded, right?
[0:23:18] Gavin: What? If it's like a triangle, like a pet, like a hash brown patty.
[0:23:24] Geoff: That's like, like if it's a triangle, that's shredded hash browns pressed together into the
[0:23:29] Gavin: triangle. Like to me, it's one of those.
[0:23:33] Eric: Oh, I don't think so. I think it. I think. I think in this kind of breakfast, it's got to be like the big, like the big mound of like shredded hash browns.
[0:23:42] Andrew: Or did you not post a photo? You just are. He's just explaining. I see. Because I still, when you say triangle, I don't know what a triangle hash brown. It's just like if you buy. Here, he's got it. Eric is Googling it so I can see what a triangle hash brown. Oh. You know what? You're so right. And I've had these. I just never really thought about them as being triangle hash browns.
[0:24:07] Gavin: I thought of them as triangles because they're a triangle. And also they're incredibly good. Now do Waffle House hash browns.
[0:24:17] Andrew: I feel like the triangle is fine. It is good, but it's like it's not.
[0:24:20] Gavin: To me, it's all like the, there's areas of the wrong consistency in the middle of that.
[0:24:27] Eric: Well, that's why you, so you got to tell them to get it crispy. Yeah, you get it crispy. Yeah. Or how crispy. How crispy can they get the middle? They get it pretty crispy when you tell them to get it crispy. It's crispy as you need. So I order it that way.
[0:24:37] Unidentified: Yeah.
[0:24:37] Eric: I don't order it that way so that way they don't do it. That would be foolish. I just wouldn't say it if I didn't want it.
[0:24:42] Andrew: That's what I was saying, Gavin, though. With the shredded hash brown, there is a potential of a low floor if they fuck it up. Yeah, I feel like you haven't had a high quality shred. Maybe not.
[0:24:53] Unidentified: Prime presents Perfect Pairings. What pairs with Reacher on Prime? Reaching for a sparkling punch delivered with Prime. It's an unbelievable feeling when you're enjoying a punch. At the same time, Reacher is enjoying punching people. Wow, he's still punching people. Entertainment meets fast delivery. It's on Prime.
[0:25:23] Ad read: Grégoose believes in the art of living, in choosing the pleasurable over the practical. It's why we craft our premium vodka in France using pure spring water from Genzac. And why you hear the celebratory bump of our cork reminding us to make every martini cocktail count. So, go on and make every moment count. Because there's no better time than now. Grégoose. Make. Time. Wait. Sip responsibly.
[0:25:53] Unidentified: When you're a mid-sized business, you need every competitive advantage you can get. Like an AI solution that works for you, not against you. SAP Grow is built with AI embedded at its core, working across every system. And it's ready to go from day one, so you can hit the ground running. Bring it with SAP Grow. AI Cloud ERP for any size business. Sorry. Investing? Trading? That isn't a personality. You don't need the voice. You don't need the jargon. You don't need the podcast. You already know how to trade. You've done it your whole life. And TD Easy Trade taps into that instinct, so you can build something real. No minimums, no monthly fees, 24-hour support. No investor personality required. Because you are made to trade. And TD Easy Trade is made to help. Download it now.
[0:26:48] Eric: So shredded hash brown. So we have fried egg, two triangles of toast, two pieces of bacon, one crispy, one chewy. Shredded hash brown. Are we feeling like a pancake? A waffle?
[0:26:57] Andrew: No, I was gonna, so here's the thing. I feel like we have to do waffle. My history of the desk waffles, all the waffle stuff we've done, has to be a waffle. I'll, I'll, I'm with you.
[0:27:10] Eric: I'll order a waffle 100% of the time over ash brown. What kind of waffle? What does that mean?
[0:27:16] Geoff: Well, do you want, like, Belgian? Do you want buttermilk? Do you want homestyle? I didn't know that there were other. Blueberry.
[0:27:24] Andrew: Like, I know the blueberry, like, putting in other ingredients into the waffle, I guess. But, like, the concept of homestyle to, like, I like a, I like a buttermilk waffle myself.
[0:27:33] Gavin: Ten types of waffles. That seems like too many. This one's just square. That one's Eggo. I think if it's, if it's with a breakfast of this size, it should just be a, a side, like, four by four grid waffle. Like, not too big. Not a whole plate.
[0:27:46] Unidentified: I agree with that. Too big? But, like, a decent square.
[0:27:52] Eric: So, so this is too big? You're saying it's too big.
[0:27:54] Gavin: That's like a whole breakfast in itself.
[0:27:56] Eric: So, you're saying it should be more like this? Yeah, that's fine. Square waffle. I agree. Yeah, that's four by five. I'll do that.
[0:28:01] Gavin: I'll take it, yeah.
[0:28:02] Eric: Okay. Are we saying four by five, four by four waffle? If you can get it. I'm fine with that. You got it, four by four waffle.
[0:28:10] Andrew: You got it. And what style, Jeff, do you, do you prefer? I say, I like buttermilk personally. Okay. Let's, let's do a buttermilk waffle, I guess. I don't think I've ever been aware of, like, a variant of waffle type. Oh, yeah. Now, Gavin, have a look at that one.
[0:28:26] Eric: Now, that's a four by four. That's a four by four right there.
[0:28:28] Gavin: That's a four by four by four.
[0:28:30] Eric: Yeah, and it's buttermilk. It is four by four by four. That's a waffle cube.
[0:28:34] Geoff: If you align that correctly, that could be. Yep. That's on the secret menu.
[0:28:39] Eric: So, so we feel like we have it here then. We're, we're, we're locked in on the four by four. Is it buttermilk thing? I found the four by four waffle.
[0:28:45] Geoff: We have, yeah, whatever. Buttermilk waffle. Buttermilk is fine.
[0:28:48] Eric: Okay. Um, is there a drink that goes with breakfast? Yeah, I feel like. Absolutely.
[0:28:54] Geoff: I mean, I, it's gotta be orange juice. Yeah, I would, I would say orange juice.
[0:28:58] Eric: Yeah, I mean, I mean, I would, I would fight for coffee, but I know I'm not gonna get anywhere with that.
[0:29:01] Gavin: So, I'm fine with an orange juice. Sometimes kids want to partake in a regulation breakfast, and I feel like coffee can't be the standard.
[0:29:08] Eric: Well, they can have decaf.
[0:29:09] Geoff: I, I like coffee with my breakfast, obviously, but I feel like orange juice is just more universal. I can go orange juice. I'm not opposed to it. Andrew, thoughts?
[0:29:17] Eric: I, I, I'm not opposed.
[0:29:20] Andrew: However. It wouldn't be what I picked. What would you pick? I'd pick apple juice.
[0:29:25] Eric: You're fucking crazy.
[0:29:26] Geoff: I'm so much more of an apple juice guy. I will say also, it's like the only time it's really appropriate to drink orange juice.
[0:29:33] Eric: Yeah, I, like apple juice I feel like you could do like in any time of day thing. I just never think about it as a breakfast. That's crazy to me.
[0:29:39] Andrew: What? You think that orange juice is locked to the morning, but apple juice is an any time thing? I think orange juice is locked to the morning and to planes.
[0:29:50] Eric: I agree. I think that's, those are, those are two great areas for orange juice, Gavin. I do agree that orange juice is a breakfast thing.
[0:29:58] Andrew: You don't think of orange juice as a breakfast thing? No, I do. I'm saying I, I view it as a breakfast thing, but I view apple juice in the same way. Oh, I don't. I've never like wanted an apple juice at like 7 p.m. Oh, I have. Hey, get like a little afternoon, uh, AJ. Oh, you know what? Martinelli's like you get some sparkling apple juice. I think that opens it up obviously to other time periods, but like just plain apple juice. That's a morning drink. What about appletini?
[0:30:26] Unidentified: I don't think I've ever had an appletini. I don't think I've ever had apple with alcohol.
[0:30:34] Andrew: I wonder if you'd like, um, I don't know. I don't really like alcohol, so.
[0:30:39] Unidentified: Nah.
[0:30:40] Andrew: Same. Probably not, but. Jeff, that's not true. Um, I'm not going to die on an apple juice hill. Like I don't, I don't need to fight for it. I would just say that that would be my definitive juice. I think an orange juice in breakfast can be great, but it is for me incredibly situational. Wow. There are times for large stretches where I will not want to even think about orange juice. But every once in a while, there's something that is like, there's nothing more delicious than an orange juice with breakfast. Have you like had periods where you had too much orange juice and it makes you sick thinking about it? No, I don't think so. Well, uh, there's one time where I had too much orange juice, but I don't think my dad
[0:31:19] Eric: has clouded. Jeff, you ever had a time where you had too much orange juice?
[0:31:23] Geoff: I hate to have to answer yes, but I was having stomach aches when I was about 10 and my grandma took me to the doctor and the doctor said that I was having way too much citrus in my life and I had to back it off and the family stopped buying me orange juice and it was miserable. Yeah. I was a big orange juice kid, but like all the breakfast thing out the window, I was drinking
[0:31:42] Gavin: orange juice all day and all night. It's just so breakfasty orange juice, but I feel like I would rather have a coffee, but I can see myself going into the diner and asking for a regulation breakfast and a coffee.
[0:31:53] Eric: I think, Oh yeah, I'm with you on that. I like that regulation breakfast and a coffee. Gavin, I think that's great. You, you totally flipped me. I don't like, as I was like, okay, I was frustrated that coffee wasn't going to be on here, but ordering it with a coffee, I think is a great idea. That's fantastic.
[0:32:07] Geoff: The thing about orange juice you have to remember too, is like when you close your eyes and you think of breakfast, the first color that you think of is yellow, right? Yellow egg, kind of yellow waffle, yellow, yellow orange juice, sunrise colors. I feel like orange juice is as important to the menu because of its color as anything
[0:32:25] Gavin: else. And there's also, sometimes you get the surprise, like I'm fine to drink any breakfasty orange juice, but sometimes you just get an out of nowhere, freshly squeezed and it's incredible. Yeah. So I wasn't expecting it, but it's delicious.
[0:32:39] Andrew: Well, that was going to be in the next question is if we're locking in orange juice, we have to put in a type because there's a lot of variation to the orange juice and I feel like they're representative of different things.
[0:32:48] Geoff: I'd say no pulp. I'm okay with pulp.
[0:32:52] Unidentified: I'm a sun pulp guy. I'm a sun pulp guy. Yeah, I'll take, I'll take pulp a little bit, a few bits as we call it.
[0:32:59] Andrew: I don't want it to be filled, but you get a little pulp in there. I feel like they just crushed these oranges in the back, even though I know it's coming out of a carton shipped halfway across the country. I can lie to myself in a way of like, this juice is so fresh. They got chunks of it in this juice. They were having to rush to make the other juices. So some bits fell into this. I love it. All right. So we're doing some pulp orange juice. Yeah. Some pulp.
[0:33:26] Gavin: And what are we throwing out for a possible sauce? Or are we not? Are we sourceless on this? Sauce. What do you mean by sauce?
[0:33:33] Geoff: He means like maple syrup and butter and jam and stuff.
[0:33:37] Gavin: Well, the syrup's an option and you've also got like, you know, most English breakfast would have a brown sauce.
[0:33:42] Geoff: I think it's just probably, I mean, I don't know that I consider that part of the meal. That's just, that's on the table.
[0:33:48] Andrew: I was exactly going to say that I feel like that is on the table. I don't think we have to order that. Okay. I think all of that.
[0:33:55] Eric: Although, uh oh, he's thinking.
[0:33:59] Andrew: No, I think it's on the table. I think it's all on the table.
[0:34:01] Eric: How you dress your regulation breakfast is up to you. Okay. I feel pretty good about this. Is there anything that we're missing? Any corner that we're missing here?
[0:34:09] Andrew: Is it weird that like for breakfast places, you dress your own stuff, but like if you order a burger, like it's pre-dressed. We could put pepper and so on.
[0:34:19] Unidentified: Well, that's on the table. I guess it depends on where you go. If you go to a ball game, you're dressing it. Wasn't sauce on the table? What? What?
[0:34:32] Andrew: What are you asking about sauce? I feel like you keep asking about sauce on the table. They're doing so well there. Yeah.
[0:34:38] Gavin: No, but you were saying like salt and pepper's on the table, but so is sauce a lot of the time.
[0:34:42] Eric: Yeah. We, we said that sauce is on the table.
[0:34:44] Andrew: We all agree. That's why we're saying we don't need to put a sauce and the, no, I know, but you were
[0:34:48] Gavin: saying it's weird to dress breakfast, but it's weird not to dress breakfast, but something else. What?
[0:34:54] Andrew: Yeah. I was saying that like when you go to a restaurant, they give you all the things to dress your breakfast. But like, if you go to the same restaurant and order a burger, it's coming pre-dressed. It's interesting that there are certain dishes that are pre-dressed. But sometimes there's ketchup on the table. Yeah. But your burger has ketchup on it already is my point, but they expect you to dress your breakfast, but that they don't expect you to dress your burger. Now you can add to the dressing with the stuff that's on the table. But my point is when you order a burger, it's not like it's just plain with cheese and they expect you to dress it how you want. And the same way that it works with breakfast.
[0:35:30] Gavin: I feel like people constantly opening, opening up their bugs, putting on additional stuff.
[0:35:35] Andrew: Yeah. But it doesn't start like the baseline is what I'm saying. Isn't a plain burger.
[0:35:39] Unidentified: All right. Like it is for breakfast. We can put on the table. Anything else you want on the table? Yeah. Outside of brown sauce.
[0:35:50] Andrew: We got salt, pepper, ketchup, ketchup. So is that has to be there.
[0:35:56] Eric: Am I right? Am I writing this down? Am I writing this? I don't know. No, I don't think that's overkill. We're arguing about what's on the table.
[0:36:03] Andrew: I don't think we're arguing. I'm just trying to visualize the table of this diner. What color is the table?
[0:36:09] Gavin: Here's why I brought up because the hot dog, right?
[0:36:11] Unidentified: The regulation dog had. The dog had a lot of sauce discussion. It did. That is true. But that I. Now, is there a dessert that comes with the breakfast? What? No.
[0:36:27] Andrew: What? A breakfast dessert of some kind.
[0:36:30] Unidentified: What?
[0:36:31] Andrew: Like an ice cream, maybe a little ice cream. What is a breakfast dessert? It's a dessert that comes with breakfast.
[0:36:38] Ad read: Ice cream.
[0:36:40] Geoff: Uh. What? I will say when Millie and I went to Japan, they had churros as a breakfast dessert, and that was pretty cool.
[0:36:46] Andrew: Like a slice of apple pie, I feel like, is a breakfast dessert. I disagree completely. I've never had a breakfast dessert in my life. You don't go to a diner, and they got all the, like, cakes and stuff? A breakfast dessert would be a donut, maybe. But isn't a waffle kind of a breakfast dessert already?
[0:37:01] Gavin: To me, the waffle is a part of it. I would eat that at the end of this breakfast. As like a little.
[0:37:06] Andrew: And I say this with love of my heart. You're the opinion I want to hear the least on what you define as a breakfast and dessert guy.
[0:37:11] Geoff: You're not a sweets guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[0:37:21] Andrew: Not that you don't have great opinions, it's just you're not a sweets guy. Well, I mean, a waffle is sweet with syrup on.
[0:37:27] Geoff: It is, but, like, it's not a dessert. Or powdered sugar, or strawberries.
[0:37:32] Eric: I just don't. I've never heard of breakfast dessert. I've heard of sweet breakfasts, like where you're eating, like, a cinnamon roll. A breakfast dessert.
[0:37:39] Geoff: I don't. Yeah, like, I would say it'd have to be, like, a breakfast, like a Danish or something. I don't. I'm looking. Like a cinnamon roll. I just pulled up a breakfast place. A cinnamon roll would be. A local breakfast place. But is it, like, don't you consider, like, don't you consider, like, when you put jam on your toast, isn't that kind of dessert-y? Isn't that, like, doesn't that fill the. No, it's just breakfast. Nothing. I just feel like. I just feel like it sates that desire. Is a milkshake a breakfast dessert? Like, you're getting sweet through that, so you don't need a dessert. A milkshake? A breakfast milkshake?
[0:38:11] Gavin: You mean, like, a smoothie? You don't have breakfast milkshakes?
[0:38:15] Andrew: Breakfast, to me, is just, like, the main, and then I'm leaving. Yeah, I'm looking at, well, this is, the diner also does. Okay. Let me find a Smitty's. That is a chain of Canadian breakfast places. They got their big country breakfast. Ooh, they got an international breakfast. Gavin would love this. Is it continental there?
[0:38:33] Gavin: Because that's a mid-breakfast.
[0:38:36] Andrew: It is a slice of French toast with powdered sugar, half a Belgian waffle, served with two eggs in any style, two strips of bacon, and two sausage. Okay, I would just try that.
[0:38:44] Geoff: That sounds good. That sounds real good.
[0:38:46] Andrew: Let's see. Do they have a dessert menu? Maybe I'm crazy with these desserts. Breakfast sides, appetizers, fresh salads, classic burgers. Okay, well, once again, we're going into, like, the lunch menu at the same time. I feel like a slice of pie is a breakfast dessert.
[0:39:01] Eric: I don't know what a breakfast dessert is. That's just dessert. I don't know what you're talking about.
[0:39:07] Gavin: Like, surely you just had pie for breakfast at that point. You didn't need the other shit. You would just have a pie.
[0:39:13] Andrew: Couldn't you argue that with any dessert, though?
[0:39:16] Gavin: I just feel like breakfast doesn't, it's not often time for dessert.
[0:39:19] Eric: I've never in my life had a breakfast dessert. I don't think I have either.
[0:39:26] Geoff: This sucks.
[0:39:30] Andrew: Because I feel like when you go to diners, they got the, like, dessert tray. Tray? They might have little pastries, like a little cinnamon roll or something. They got the spinnies. They got, like, pies. They got some cakes.
[0:39:42] Gavin: Yeah, but aren't people just walking in, ordering a coffee and a cinnamon bun or a pie? Like, they're not having the whole breakfast and that, surely. I don't know if that's true.
[0:39:51] Eric: I know that's true. Pie shame somebody? I would. That's insane.
[0:39:56] Gavin: Breakfast dessert is nuts. I feel like you're either going to go sit down breakfast or you're going to go pastry.
[0:40:01] Andrew: Yeah. I'm picturing me as, like, a 62-year-old man. I go into the diner. I get my waffle. I get my hash browns. I have my apple juice. And then I get a little sliced apple pie. And I'm having a day. I'm having an exciting, good start to my day.
[0:40:14] Eric: I don't. This is, I'm, like, thrown. I'm so thrown right now.
[0:40:18] Geoff: I think the only acceptable breakfast dessert is a donut. I think I agree.
[0:40:24] Eric: Yeah, but I wouldn't put it on our regulation breakfast. No.
[0:40:28] Gavin: No, I agree. Donut doesn't need to be on this. To be fair, if you could buy, if you could buy half a donut, I would put that one. Half a donut? Half a donut? Yeah, like, after reading that list of six things, I don't want a whole donut after that, I don't think.
[0:40:42] Eric: I don't want any donut after that. That's so much breakfast. That's so much food.
[0:40:46] Gavin: What about this? What about this? Two donut holes. See, I think I'm on board with that, but I don't think it's regulation breakfast.
[0:40:53] Geoff: That's, like, that is honestly, that's, like, saying, let me get a regulation breakfast plus a cup of coffee and two donut holes. Yeah. That's how I feel. I think it sounds good, but it doesn't feel regulation. I think two donut holes for the road as part of the meal is very appealing to me. Oh, like, after dinner mints, like the little Andy's mints you get at an Italian restaurant. Little road bowls. I'm okay with that.
[0:41:20] Andrew: You can kind of, on the way to your car, you can eat them. I'm okay with that. I don't think it should be on the menu, though. I want to be clear.
[0:41:26] Geoff: You know what a breakfast dessert is, though? Beignets. But that doesn't feel very regulation. But that's definitely dessert-y.
[0:41:33] Andrew: I still, I'll die on the pie. Slice of pie is a breakfast dessert. I don't understand.
[0:41:37] Gavin: And you're having that off to this?
[0:41:40] Andrew: Yes. Well, maybe not this, because this is a lot. But, like, if you just ordered, like, a pancake or a waffle.
[0:41:47] Eric: So, the last ten minutes has been Andrew arguing about breakfast desserts, none of which he's ever had or would go on this menu.
[0:41:54] Geoff: Could we say it's like, it's like, not a part of a regulation breakfast, but when you go to pay your bill and leave, there should be a regulation bowl of donut holes for you to grab on the way out? You want everyone digging into a bowl of donut holes is what you want.
[0:42:10] Gavin: You want to dig into it? I would eat one.
[0:42:12] Eric: Yeah.
[0:42:13] Gavin: Communal, like, four balls?
[0:42:14] Eric: I don't think I would touch that bowl. I don't think I would touch that bowl.
[0:42:16] Gavin: I'd be signing my receipt. I'd be standing up. I'd be moving the chair with one hand, grabbing a donut ball with the other hand, and just stuffing it in and walking out.
[0:42:22] Eric: I would not. I would touch that bowl. Yeah, I also don't believe you. There's toothpicks.
[0:42:30] Andrew: Even the tooth, like, you, it's interesting. You made this, like, seem crossable, but I'm still reluctant, even in a toothpick world.
[0:42:37] Gavin: You don't want to share a bowl of donut holes?
[0:42:41] Andrew: Not with random people, no.
[0:42:43] Gavin: Who are you eating breakfast with? Why are they random?
[0:42:46] Andrew: No, I thought, the way you described this was that it was, like, at the till.
[0:42:50] Gavin: Yeah. No, the bill's coming to the table, and I'm paying it there.
[0:42:54] Eric: Oh, this, everything you described, I'm with Andrew. It felt like you were describing, you go up to the till to pay. I was.
[0:43:00] Geoff: I was describing it at the till to pay, but I'm totally fine with it being at the table. Oh, I'm out.
[0:43:06] Eric: That's what I was saying. I don't believe you. I thought it was insane that Gavin was going to eat from a communal bowl of food. All of the donut holes at the till already have.
[0:43:19] Gavin: No, we've got to slide out one ball per person who just ate. It's not a bucket of balls that's been sat there all morning. No, they're hot. They're fresh.
[0:43:29] Eric: I thought it was so crazy that Gavin was on board. I'm like, I was floored. I was floored by it.
[0:43:34] Gavin: Well, nine times out of ten, the bill's coming to me at the table when I'm having breakfast.
[0:43:40] Geoff: Yeah, absolutely. He's got you there. Right, which is not what you described. Yeah, I'm fine with it that way, too, though. I'm eating the balls either way. Either way, are we locked in on what this is here?
[0:43:49] Eric: Yeah, I think so. I think we're locked in, and I think this might be the episode. I think it is. It's regulation breakfast. Let us know if you eat it. It's one fried egg, two triangles of toast, two pieces of bacon, one chewy, one crispy, shredded hash browns, four by four buttermilk waffle, and some pulp orange juice. I think this is pretty delicious. I'm ordering all that with a coffee. I agree. I thought that was a great move by Gavin. That was fantastic.
[0:44:16] Andrew: The thing is, I would still order this because there is egg, but not enough that it would disrupt the whole dish. Try the egg. Yeah, you could try the egg.
[0:44:25] Unidentified: Yeah, you've got a lot of stuff to sop up some egg with. I don't know. We'll see.
[0:44:32] Andrew: We'll see how that egg looks. Great. It comes out. It's delicious. Now, if you tell me I get a breakfast dessert with the egg, then.
[0:44:39] Gavin: Well, let me ask you this, Eric. If you ordered the regulation breakfast plus a coffee, and the check came with a donut ball just for you, would you pop it in?
[0:44:48] Eric: It would depend on how I'm feeling after eating all of that. I mean, like, probably, I guess, but at the same time, it's not something I'm like, oh, hell yeah, a little donut hole.
[0:44:59] Geoff: Oh, I'm definitely saying hell yeah.
[0:45:01] Andrew: Yeah, I'm pretty excited. With the check, they're bringing it in a little container. It's a little bonus. I like that a lot. Pretty cool. Well, this was an episode of The Regulators. I feel like we all still don't know what this show is, or at least you guys do, and I don't, but that's okay, because you guys have to invent any food. None of this food is invented.
[0:45:21] Geoff: It's all just regular food that you can have.
[0:45:23] Andrew: Buttermilk, waffle. That could be fictional.
[0:45:25] Geoff: I was going to recommend dragon steaks, but I decided to go a little more traditional.
[0:45:30] Andrew: Me, squoozles. I feel like dragon steaks would be very muscly. Oh, I think it would be gross.
[0:45:36] Eric: I think it would taste like lizard disgusting.
[0:45:38] Andrew: Yeah, I think it would be terrible. I prefer munt lumps. Don't knock until you try it. That's fair. Jeff, you don't need to promote Game of Thrones anymore. We're not part of Warner Brothers. It's fine. We can stop talking about dragons. But until the next episode of The Regulators, thank you so much for your submissions. We will be back arguing about temperatures and different forms of measurement of temperature. It will be fun. Goodbye.
[0:46:00] Gavin: Bye. Nick will be livid if he missed that. Absolutely.
